Ghana Armed Forces to hire ten deadly “Jihadists” to counter resident Gitmo Detainees: ‘A satirical Piece’
Following the two Gitmo ‘terrorists’ transfers made to Ghana on Wednesday 6, January 2016 by the United State government, the military high command of Ghana is taking steps to recruit ten of the deadliest Jihadists from around the world to counter the latest intelligence pick up on the danger these duo pose to the security of Ghana.
Having contacted Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen and Saudi Arabia, the Ghana Armed Forces is not too impressed about the efficacy of the current candidates. The military command therefore intends to do a worldwide search for ten of the most deadliest Jihadist to train the Ghana Military on some of the current and novel strategies to counter terrorism in Ghana.
Meanwhile, the president of Ghana His Excellency John Dramani Mahama is scheduled to take some precautionary training from the two deadliest Guantanamo detainees sent to Ghana at the Shai Hills training grounds somewhere next week. The first lady having heard the information is so angry at the President for being selfish by recommending the precautionary training for only himself and not for his entire family.
Information indicate that the first lady is currently in a crunch meeting with Mahmud Umar Muhammad Bin Atef, an admitted member of the Taliban who fought for Osama bin Laden as well as Khalid Muhammad Salih Al-Dhuby, an Al Qaeda loyalist to broker a deal to included her and her entire children in the precautionary training.
Information has it that, the Mahama-led government will in due course announce to the good people of Ghana, that as a matter of urgency all citizens must start personal training in anti-terrorism to avert any future unexpected difficulties since the government is so broke to pay for such training on a mass scale. Marshal art, Kunfung, Kick-boxing and Rambo style among others are recommended by the government, since these alternatives are known to be apt for counter terrorism.
Kwame Nkrumah Mausoleum
The Kwame Nkrumah Mausoleum and memorial park is located in downtown Accra, the capital of Ghana. It is dedicated to the prominent Ghanaian leader Kwame Nkrumah.
More than 40% of Ghana’s 25 million people lack access to safe water
Despite an investment of roughly a half a billion US dollars in infrastructure development over the past 20 years from the government and its partners, many people in Ghana still lack affordable access to safe water.
An Open Letter to a Back-Stabbing Friend
Dear Greedy and Back-Stabbing friend,
You are one person who doesn’t appreciate all the things I do for you. You are one person who turns your back to me when I most expect you to return me a favour. You are someone who eats at my table and talks behind my back or more precisely stab me in the back with a subtle knife. I first saw you as a loco-family, a friend and a colleague, But you are just an unworthy, self-centered and a jealous friend perhaps!
Fortunately for me I have come across many ungrateful people in my life, most of them used to be my friends, and some of them still are, and am very optimististic of coming across some further in life. You know not, how much it hurts and depresses to treat someone with love and trust, but receive the vice in return. It is very easy to go with the concept of an eye for an eye! Someone hurts you and you hurt back, they stab you in the back and you do the same.
But when I think of how brave it is to know that a friend is being unjust to you, yet you keep calm, laugh over it and move on with life with full determination! I sometimes think of how courageous I am, when I have all the power to hurt back, yet choose to turn away quietly with optimism. Very few people only choose to forgive the ungratefuls like you, because it is a very hard choice to take. It needs persons with great self-confidence and a lot of kindness and good will, which are not so much of popular traits these days! But I always have at the back of my mind that once I take that decision, once I choose not to return the ungratefulness, the back-stabbing, the lies and the back-biting; I will experience the most spectacular energy filing my soul, a new kind of joy that echoes to my conscience that I did the right thing.
I have grown to understand that you and your ungrateful likes are miserable beings, nothing is ever enough for you. Nothing satisfies your hunger, you are blinded so you can’t see the blessings that surround you, and you are trapped behind a wall of envy, greed and invidia. I sometimes pity you since I feel fortunate enough to witness and appreciate all the blessings that God has given me in spite of your purposive ‘gerrymandering’ of the slightest opportunity that surfaces. I am able to experience real happiness through the simple things in life and yet be grateful. My soul is not empty and vague. I know how to give thanks to God and those who deserve it. I will not be sad or bothered much from your repulsive, hideous and repugnant behaviour.
As an adult, there are existential and philosophical questions and deeds you must struggle with because your answers and actions will determine your make-up. I will advise you never to accept your self-inflicted-mediocrity, strive for the excellence that exists around you, for what you produce is a reflection of the content of your soul.
We face each other as equals, yet you stab me so deep to incapacitate my aspirations, nevertheless I feel compelled to trouble you with one final piece of advice: never allow yourself to succumb to the deceit and folly of your self-inflicted-mediocrity to define your place in this universe. These inner and self-conceived or inflicted manipulators of your actions and inactions permeates every aspect of your life, as its evident now as I write this letter to you. But in the end, no one will assume responsibility for the outcome except you!
And if one day the deceptions of life force you to write a reply to this letter, with bitter ink, it will be superior to all you can receive for having lived a life of selfishness, self-centered, invidia, back-biting and a wild-goose chase. Find the strength to take the road less traveled by matured men, stumble over rocks, and on occasion lose your way; the reward at the end of your journey in life will be that it was your hard work, determination and the reciprocity of how you treated people you came across in life.
Need I remind you of a very important word? It is the Sanskrit word for action. It is equivalent to Newton’s law of “every action must have a reaction”. When we think, speak or act we initiate a force that will react accordingly. This returning force maybe modified, changed or suspended, but most people like you will not be able eradicate it. The word is KARMA. It is often referred to as “THE LAW OF KARMA”!
Your Butchered Friend Still Standing Clean!
An Open Love Letter to My Unborn Baby Girl ‘Arcelia’
Hello my sweet Arcelia,
I am your wonderful Daddy in the waiting. You have been in my heart for the past something weeks. You are still very small, but I can imagine how beautiful and cute you are. Sometimes you occupy my mind for the whole day and I have to keep calling my wonderful sweet pepper wife to find out if you are safe and sound in your world. Dreams of you bring you so closer to me than I ever imagined and that have impacted more on my feministic views. I am thinking of getting a gun to protect you from the likes of some friends of mine; YES! you heard me right.
Your mummy has always been a piquant sort of lady with Tilapia and Fufu her guilty pleasure, though she has more of an urge for sweet things these days, which according to the grandmothers’ indicates that you are a girl, my sweet little and beautiful girl.If you happen to be a baby boy, I will be equally grateful and welcome you with pride. I hope and pray every day with very strong optimism that you are healthy and will not come into this world with any difficulties. But if you do, I promise I will step up and face the challenges for your sake, to give you the best life you can ever dream of. Sometimes I feel a bit anxious about the prospect of being a father of two with such demanding responsibility in light if Ghana’s current economic challenges. I worry that I may fail you in some way, that you won’t be happy when you grow up, and it will in some way be my fault but nevertheless, I am very willing and ready to stand tall for you.
I will try something extraordinary almost a month preceding your entry into this world. The problem is that I don’t know what it is am going to try, but I want it to be something I’m passionate about because I want to be a good role model for you. I want my life to be more than just about you, so that you can learn to be independent and follow your dreams as well. I hope that doesn’t sound so selfish sweetheart.
I want you to know how much I love and cherish your mother. We are lucky to have found each other, just pure luck; especially looking at the mystery surrounding it; lost her certificates and other documentary evidence but still got admission into College, tried all the ‘awam’ skills but couldn’t succeed during the Larteh days, invented a whole one year sabbatical leave but still got nailed at the end and other serious ones needn’t a mention. I hate to think we might have passed by each other after the “sekesua brouhaha”. Your mother is a good woman with the best intentions I’ve ever seen. She is kind, loving, patient and considerate and I can vouch that she is so excited about meeting and spoiling you with her unconditional love, which I will oppose anyway. I have the greatest optimism that I will still love your mother as much when you read this as I ink now. Life can be unpredictable and cruel but I hope and believe we are strong enough to keep our love beautiful and strong. One thing I know is that we will both still be madly in love with you; unless you turn into a murderer, drug-addict or an outcast, but well, maybe even with that …I wouldn’t let you off because you are my responsibility and blood!
I wonder what you will think of me when you read this personal letter to you. As I write now, I have no idea when I will give this letter to you. Perhaps you will be 18 and very hormonal and wonder why your beloved mother ever married such a ginger-sweet-husband. Perhaps you will be married with a beautiful partner and expecting a child of your own. Perhaps I will be dead or perhaps I will be the President of Ghana or better still the Finance Minister; YES your guess is as good as mine! with the New Patriotic Party of-course.
All I know is that now I am just a young trying handsome man, as your mother is just a young beautiful lady with a lot of passion.We have experienced great moments of happiness with family and friends at school,parties, festive seasons, holidays, traveling especially the duo sekesua trip etc. We had those heartwarming moments that you wouldn’t want to forget when you are told; from wild nights with friends at joints and most importantly lovely midnight atmosphere charged with cool tunes and others from Westlife, Celine Dion, Phil Collins and Senzo Williams etc…
I just want you to know that we were young once and that we are full of character and passion and love for simple things. I think this is something that children can’t quite grasp about their parents, I certainly couldn’t with my Old Tom and Awony3. I hope I am still the person I am today, but better and stronger and more open when you read this. I want you to know that I am so looking forward to meeting you, and that I love and want the change you will bring in my life. I hope you would like and love me regardless of my strict nature and “ecomini” status.
Your Proud and Loving Father in the waiting,
Fofo Kɔmi
The Stock Scientist 
Comments